Gordon Howie Launching Theocracy Campaign with Bogus Poll

Last updated on 2014.06.05

Indulge me...

Liberal Democratic thought seems to be fading from the political scene. That might be about to change.

In the South Dakota Republican Party, charges of corruption and political "bullying" have been compounded by an apparent departure from their own principles. A voting report card recently shows that many Republicans—most notably leadership—voted against Republican Party platform principles 60-75% of the time. A majority of Republicans voted for Republican principles less often that Democratic leaders.

Conscientious Democrats have been in the minority in the state Republican-controlled Legislature. Recent charges of what some have called "the worst abuse of authority in decades," have voters across the state saying they have had enough!

In a poll commissioned by the Madville Times Group, a near unanimous consensus is that South Dakotans want to replace corrupt crony-capitalist Republicans compassionate, well-educated Democrats.

Occupy Wall Street groups, ELCA churches, and progressives statewide are coming together to replace these corrupt crony-capitalist Republicans who have become intoxicated with power and abandoned party principles. The Madville Times Group has been asked to serve as a resource for a pool of compassionate, well-educated Democrats.

The Madville Times will help to recruit, train and support compassionate, well-educated Democrats. That fits well with the MTG mission statement, "to comfort the afflicted, afflict the comfortable, and defend the Constitution from crony capitalists, theocrats and meatheads in general."

Does your Legislator need to be replaced??? Check Voting Record Here!

You can help! Will you be a candidate? Do you know someone who would make a good candidate? Will you help financially? Will you dedicate your time to work for a candidate?

Let us know how you can help! Together, we will challenge conservative crony-capitalist Republicans statewide and replace them with compassionate, well-educated Democrats. Then we will once again be able to recite our state motto, "Under God The People Rule" (or choose not to, without anyone questioning your piety or patriotism).

Contact us today! We need your help!

P.S. Please click on the Tip Jar button in right hand sidebar of your screen to chip in $15, $20 or more to help the Madville Times to continue our mission to keep you informed on the excesses and dangers of crony capitalism, Tea/Libertarian anarchism, and theocracy.

***Cory Allen Heidelberger is a nationally syndicated author and CEO of Madville Times Media***

Among the many piles of horsepuckey in the above parody is my claim to have conducted a poll that finds pretty much everyone agreeing with me. If I made such a claim, I would expect you to immediately ask me, "Poll? What poll? Conducted when? By what methodology?"

Now suppose I responded, "Sorry... We don't share that kind of information. We prefer to have people attack the results, not the polling techniques." How would you respond?

1. "A poll has no credibility if you don't share the methodology."
2. "What results? Without methodology, you don't have results."
3. "So we can assume that you asked the four guys in your sock-puppet media 'empire' and called that a poll."
4. [verbal response obstructed by gales of uncontrollable laughter]

Yet theocratic faker Gordon Howie makes exactly such a claim and offers exactly such an absurd defense.

I want to believe that Gordon Howie (whose WordPress profile is "freedomguns1") could be a useful ally in challenging corruption in state government. I want to believe he has the skill and connections to launch a Christian soldiers' crusade that will distract just enough conservative voters to unseat a bunch of incumbent Republicans and make room for smart, united Democrats to claim a plurality in Legislature. (I won't be so hopeful as to claim we could bounce from our current tiny minority to majority, but I'll keep my fingers crossed for coming out with 40% + 1 over a schismatic Republican/radical majority.)

But when Howie makes such silly claims about imaginary polls, he shows his effort to organize an insurgency will have about the same impact an success as his 2010 gubernatorial campaign. Howie, alas, is not a force to be reckoned with. He is a clown to be mocked.