Displaced Plainsman Challenges Us with Five South Dakota Political Questions

The Displaced Plainsman keeps on his English teacher/debate coach hat (such headwear never comes off) and offers five summer study essay questions for us students of AP South Dakota Politics. While the instructor surely expects lengthier, better evidenced final drafts, I offer these initial brainstorm responses:

Question 1: South Dakotans will elect a pro-choice Republican to statewide office before they elect a pro-life Democrat. A pro-choice Republican can make a more ideologically coherent case for personal autonomy and keeping government out from between doctors and patients.

Question 2—Bonus first: Few politicians discuss the split between European and Native South Dakotans because they can't boil the problems or the solutions into 30-second campaign ads or quick and easy pieces of legislation. Furthermore, they avoid the topic because our Lakota neighbors generally aren't at the tables where we have those conversations, and we do a poor job of inviting them to those tables. Finally, Indians in South Dakota don't exert enough pull as swing voters or campaign donors to motivate more discussion from candidates.

As for the main question, the best way to bridge the Euro-Native gap is either (1) sending every South Dakota high school junior to a reservation for a semester of public service as a requirement for graduation or (2) using a time machine to stage a few strategic interventions in South Dakota history.

Question 3: Democrats can solicit Independent votes with their current minimum-wage initiative, followed by advocacy for repeal of the gay-marriage ban, expansion of Medicare under the Affordable Care Act, a concrete initiative to raise teacher pay to 40th in the nation, a total ban on eminent domain for projects owned and operated by private corporations (Keystone XL!), and a constitutional amendment declaring corporations are not people.

Question 4: Yes, a South Dakota politician who openly declares his or her dislike for hunting and fishing can succeed in a statewide race, as long as he or she does something else really awesome, like bull-riding, riding the Mickelson Trail, or beating his or her opponent in a beer-chugging contest.

Question 5: Second Amendment advocates focus on firearms over knives, collapsible batons, and other arms because the knife and baton industries have not yet bankrolled an organization comparable to the National Rifle Association to agitate for their products. There's probably also some psychosexual reason (all of the weapons mentioned in the question are phallic, but only firearms actually shoot something)... but the teacher probably won't accept such a graphic essay.

Mr. Kallis welcomes your submissions! Grammar and spelling count, and no cheating with extra-large font sizes.