The war against cigarette liberty creeps into your home and your pocketbook. House Bill 1083 would allow rural fire districts and other political subdivisions to recoup the cost of fighting fires from the negligent folks who start them. HB 1083 would allow the fire district or the city fire department take folks to court to make them pay for a fire call if those folks let a controlled burn get out of control, fails to call in a fire, gets in the way of a firefighter, or drops a match or cigarette.

Uh oh—there it is! Section 1, clause 1—"cigarette, cigar, ashes of pipe"—don't you see what's happening? The nanny state is threatening your right to smoke the tobacco our Founding Fathers themselves proudly grew (actually, George Washington saw tobacco wasn't a sustainable crop and switched to grains in 1766, but hush!) by allowing the government to sue smokers... for smoking! In the privacy of your own home!

Can you help it if you drowse off after enjoying a fine cigarette and then gravity—cursed gravity!—pulls your butt to the carpet? Unfair! you should cry. Liberty! you should cry. Down with House Bill 1083! you should cry.

I look forward to the tobacco lobby coming to Pierre to demand that House Judiciary remove smokers from HB 1083.