Prototype Noem-catching device to help her make more committee meetings

Freshman Rep. Kristi Noem was really, really proud to be a second-string replacement pick for the Agriculture Committee seat vacated for her by fellow Tea Party-fave and farm subsidy beneficiary Rep. Steven Fincher. But she hasn’t been doing much on the Ag committee. South Dakota Democratic Party chairman Ben Nesselhuf finds documentation establishing Rep. Noem’s attendance at just four out of twenty Ag committee and subcommittee hearings:

Of six conservation subcommittee meetings, there’s a record of Noem attending only one, Democrats say. A record shows her at a livestock meeting. That came April 26 when she was being profiled by a network news channel. Of nine full committee meetings, there is record of her in two.

Even if she was missed by the video cameras, or only attended parts of meetings — which is common for members of Congress, experts maintain — Noem has appeared in transcripts once, Nesselhuf said [Jonathan Ellis, "Attendance in Congress in Question," that Sioux Falls paper, 2012.05.13].

Why might Kristi be skipping so many Agriculture Committee hearings?

10. Too busy clubbing in California.
9. Grueling travel schedule and non-stop town hall meetings.
8. Still getting lost in Longworth Building.
7. The whole idea of going to Congress was to get away from the farm.
6. Do you know how long it takes to do this hair?
5. Kassidy and Kennedy are “too cool” now to play board games, so Kristi has spent weeks casting stunt doubles for the new “Monopoly” ads.
4. Farm Bill amendments? But “I have to work on this paper! It’s due tomorrow!“
3. Still waiting for chairman to send copy of Ag committee mission statement.
2. Noem needs to keep her head down on ag policy, since her pro-government stance on farm subsidies and crop insurance makes her look really bad with her arch-conservative base.
1. Meeting? What meeting?

Commenters, I welcome your additions to the list.

I would be remiss if I did not wish a Happy 45th Birthday to a legislator who competes with Kristi Noem and Dennis Daugaard for keeping this blog in business: Representative Stacey Victor Nelson, Hanson County’s loudest Republican. Rep. Nelson has figured in over 60 Madville Times posts since he entered the Legislature last year. I have no gift tonight, but sometimes I get the impression that Rep. Nelson gets more favorable coverage here than anywhere else in the South Dakota blogosphere… though my commenters still let him have it.

Dear readers, your well-wishes and further roasting of the Fulton Fulminator are welcome. But before any of try making fun of his name, consider:

1. Stace is bigger than you.
2. Hanson County has sent a Willard, a Wellington, and one Clarion I. Miltmore to Pierre.

Refreshing and unapologetic! hyperventilates the Gordon Howie right-wing propaganda machine about Gordon Howie’s choke-worthy YouTube echo chamber, Liberty TV Today.

I am sure they will greet with similar enthusiasm the refreshing and unapologetic comedy and commentary from Michael Hope, who is producing Happy Your Head from Hope Studios in beautiful south-of-the-tracks Madison. Included in Hope’s first video offerings is a send-up of Mitt Romney’s robotic pro-corporate pronouncements. Click, watch, and enjoy.

Hope’s work is refreshing indeed! No apologies necessary.

This just in from surprise guest correspondent Russell Olson: Congresswoman Kristi Noem may have a new haircut!

Rep. Kristi Noem speaks at Lake County Lincoln Day Dinner, Madison, SD, April 9, 2012. Photo by State Senator Russell Olson.

The Congresswoman spoke at tonight’s GOP Lincoln Day Dinner in Madison. Don’t blame Russ for the fuzzy photo: the lighting at Nicky’s is atrocious. But from what I can make out, either Noem is sporting a hasty ponytail, or she’s followed the example of her predecessor, Stephanie Herseth Sandlin, and ditching the long locks for her re-election campaign.

Note the poster looming over Noem’s shoulder. That’s GOP candidate for Public Utilities Commission Kristie Fiegen. Great: now we have a Kristie and a Kristi on the ballot, and they both have short hair! Shouldn’t the school superintendents be writing one of the candidates and telling her to grow her hair back or change her name or just quit so as not to confuse the voters?

Oops: I just checked Russ’s snap of Fiegen from this evening’s festivities: it looks like she is growing her hair out. But now neither Kristi(e) looks like her campaign poster! Arrgghh!!!

Next up from Olson: grainy images of plesiosaurs in Lake Madison… or maybe the Wentworth Sasquatch!

p.s.: Public Utilities Commissioner and candidate Chris Nelson still hasn’t grown his mustache back. I’m telling you, Chris: that mustache would have won you darn near enough votes in West River whisker country to have beaten Noem in the 2010 primary!

Kristi Noem, 2007 Legislature mug shot

Update 2012.04.14 09:06 MDT: The new ‘do is really the old ‘do, as attested by Noem’s 2007 South Dakota Legislature mug shot.

Update 09:38 MDT: Congresswoman Noem tweets her own profile pic of her haircut, from Friday’s visit to the Hot Springs Veterans Administration hospital, where Noem expressed her support for government-run health care. No word on whether the hospital provides its vets with good haircuts.

Dakota War College loves to dismiss any and all policy statements by George McGovern and anyone who shakes his hand by running this old photo of the former South Dakota Senator meeting with Cuban dictator Fidel Castro:

Fidel Castro and George McGovern, circa 1975

In running this photo, DWC continues a tradition of photographic ad hominem started by blog founder and owner, now Secretary of State’s office flunky Pat Powers.

The good Catholic owner of Dakota War College might want to rethink this tactic, given this week’s pic from Cuba:

Pope Benedict XVI and retired Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, March 28, 2012 (screen cap from BBC video)

Oh my. There’s Pope Benedict XVI, not meeting with dissidents and religious freedom activists during his visit to Cuba. I assume Benedict’s prayerful bow toward Fidel (and oh, the rich irony of the names here!) means that, if I accept DWC’s propagandistic logic, I may now dismiss the Pope’s statements on abortion, birth control, and any and all other policy pronouncements.

The Displaced Plainsman combines Dennis Daugaard, Chris Christie, and Mr. Spock and gets this wonderful animated indict of HB 1234:

Brilliant! Maybe HB 1234 referendum petition circulators should wear Spock ears….

One of my morning French students asked me last week where I get all my energy. “Breakfast,” I said. Two bowls of cereal and orange juice, every day.

Well, at least every day that orange juice is on sale. Otherwise, I often have to settle for Tang (at least until Governor Daugaard’s teacher merit bonuses kick in: then I’ll be able to afford real orange juice every day… maybe even two glasses!)

I thought I found a bargain at Walgreens the other night: $2 for a half-gallon carton. Hello, liquid sunshine! I dropped two cartons in my backpack:

A gallon of orange juice? Look more closely....

But wait: when the warm glow of bargain triumph faded, it struck me that the cartons felt just a little light.

Curses! Tricked again by a corporation!

I suppose as a French teacher, I ought to appreciate the vaguely round 1.75 liters… but 59 ounces?! How did I miss this?! This subtly shrunken package shystered me, with per gallon rate on this size package at $4.34, five cents more than I would have paid at Safeway for a gallon jug. Oh, the bitter taste of downsized citrus!

One small sign that Stephanie Strong might be a nominally viable candidate for U.S. House: she took my advice on her Web page. Last week she made the faux pas of announcing her website before she had anything worthwhile on it. It looked like this:

Stephanie Strong for Congress home page, Feb. 3, 2012

I offered several pieces of advice for fixing her Web problems. Strong’s website now looks like this:

Stephanie Strong web page, Feb. 10, 2012

Fixed:

1. Strong added a functional e-mail link so interested voters and petition circulators could contact her. The usefulness of her site thus went from zero to 1%… a pretty darned important 1%.
2. She got rid of the somewhat gloomy and definitely non-South Dakota default image from GoDaddy.com. The replacement background is a flat sickly green, but again, still better than the previous distraction.
3. She added spaces to the title to get rid of the amusing separation between “Cong” and “Ress.” (But I’m still aching for a “for” between “Stephanie Strong” and “Congress.”)
4. She even changed her font from the secretly Leftist “Veggieburger” to the somewhat more Right-leaning “EastMarket.” (Wait: East Market? Is that a subtle nod to Romney? Uh oh!)

Now lest you think a Republican taking advice from a Democrat blogger is a recipe for disaster, consider: during the 2010 election, I had a political conversation or two with another GOP lady outsider, my Winfred neighbor Patricia Stricherz. She even bought an ad on my stinky liberal blog. And she won.

Come on, Stephanie: if you’re looking to challenge Rep. Kristi Noem, where better to advertise than right here, on your best source for campaign material?

And let’s get some substance up on your website. Of you’re going to ask people to help you gather signatures, you need to give them a reason to help! Put up some text, even if it’s just three bullet points, to tell your potential supporters what you stand for.