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Daugaard, Governors: Free Market Bad, Pink Slime Good!

Last updated on 2012.11.19

Update 15:48 MST: I stand corrected by my attentive commenters. Governor Daugaard is still away in China, likely assuring our Eastern overlords that he will continue to advocate for the Keystone XL pipeline, which will help China get more North American oil while raising our Midwestern gasoline prices. Lt. Governor Matt Michels represented Governor Daugaard at today's event. I regret the error and revise the below text to reflect Michels's presence.

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Governor Dennis Daugaard is sending Lt. Gov. Matt Michels to pal around with his big business friends from Dakota Dunes again. Today Michels joins other concerned state officials to tour the Beef Products, Inc., plant in South Sioux City and to stick up for "Lean Finely Textured Beef," also known as "pink slime." This vaguely meaty stuff, liquefied livestock leavings sterilized with ammonia, is used in 70% of American hamburger. The substance has been catching such heck online recently that buyers are backing away and BPI has had to slow down operations.

Governors and the pro-beef lobby have been working hard to protect the image of pink slime. They've gotten Hy-Vee to reverse a decision not to sell products with the beef additive. Michels will join governors Terry Branstad, Sam Brownback, and Rick Perry (good grief! the Daugaard administration is totally running with the right-wingers!) to enjoy some pink slime platters and counter the opinion of the free market.

Now I can understand the Daugaard administration's impulse to run to the aid of pink slime and his corporate pals. Pink slime is another great South Dakota idea (word is that before settling on "Your American Journey" as the new and impressive state tagline, SD Tourism strongly considered maintaining some continuity by amending the old line "Great Faces, Great Places" to "Great Faces, Great Pink Slime"). Even NPR (surely a bunch of culino-fascist leftists) notes that pink slime isn't that much more gross than a lot of other factory meat we eat.

But let's note the governor's priorities. Some people talk smack about me, my teaching, and my literary product, hurting my brand image, possibly detracting from my political capital. The Governor and his Lieutenant don't rush out here to Spearfish to commend my work on behalf of the state of South Dakota. They don't come for a photo op to show Dennis sampling my French teaching in my classroom or Matt sitting at The Green Bean reading my latest blog posts on his iPad.

I wouldn't turn Daugaard or Michels away if they chose to offer me such support, but I don't need them to. I'm a big boy. I can defend myself in the marketplace, even though I don't have millions of dollars to hire corporate lawyers and buy TV and newspaper ads to talk about how wonderful I am and how you all ought to buy more of my product (or, since I offer my product freely, ring that tip jar).

But if you're a big corporation, fear not! If consumers start exercising their free-market right to buy less of your product, you can expect the Governor of South Dakota to rush to your defense.

Update 2012.03.30 07:07 MDT: Kansas Governor Sam Brownback pushes the countermeme: "Dude, it's beef!" So is the patty that fell off the grill into my cleaning bucket. But that doesn't mean I have an obligation to eat it.

22 Comments

  1. Steve Sibson 2012.03.29

    Cory, your post is factually incorrect:

    BPI is now preparing to open its doors to five governors Thursday, including South Dakota Lieutenant Governor Matt Michels, to show them that the process is safe.

    http://www.keloland.com/news/NewsDetail6371.cfm?Id=129685

    Daugaard is in China working with your Communist friends to more firmly tie South Dakota to the "global economy". Want to do some posts on Chinese fish imports?

  2. larry kurtz 2012.03.29

    The governors are back, Steve, Schweitzer of Montana was on the same trip.

  3. D.E. Bishop 2012.03.29

    I've worked in a pork packing plant in Huron. I know what's in Pink Slime. It's all the gristly, gross, disgusting stuff that is so indigestible the only way it can be pawned off is by chemically degrading everything about it except it's volume. It's stuff we would never eat if it were placed on our plates before they "slimed" it.

    Pink Slime contains just about everything except hooves, horns and hide. Seriously.

    I almost never eat meat that is not easily identifiable. That means little sausage, hotdogs, canned meat, etc.

    Blechhhh!!

  4. larry kurtz 2012.03.29

    Thanks, Tom: I stand corrected.

  5. Steve Sibson 2012.03.29

    Breaking News: Daugaard traded pink slime to the Chinese for mercury tainted fish. JUST KIDDING.

  6. Rorschach 2012.03.29

    You're right, Cory. This is probably the most embarassing thing any of these public officials have ever had to do - publicly defending foul, low quality connective tissue scraps sprayed with amonia - and calling on people to eat the offal and stores to foist it on unwary consumers without any labeling.

    The public has already decided they've had their fill of this filler. The fact is, pink slime won't go to waste if people stop eating it. They can still serve the crap to cats and dogs and make money - it's just that new business arrangements can take time to establish. So after the governors do their distasteful duty (pun intended) defending in-state businesses no doubt they will have their wives more closely examine the hamburger they buy at Hy-Vee to make sure it's pink slime free.

  7. 196thlightinfantry 2012.03.29

    Just another good reason to go to your meat markets or outlets that sell beef and and beef only, not the offal. You can even buy your own meat grinder and buy some chuck or sirloin when it is on sale and grind your own. I cannot even believe that these elected officials are having a discussion on this dog and cat food. And for Hy Vee to cave and go ahead with the sales of this crap should tell the public to be kind of wary about the quality of other stuff they sell. I guess we have the best governor money can buy, but palling around with Rick Perry has got to be a real low point for him.

  8. grudznick 2012.03.29

    I dare say that you don't have to prechew mine for me but meat is meat. Who among you has not eaten a choice rodent or shot a neighbor's dog?

  9. Steve Sibson 2012.03.29

    "Just another good reason to go to your meat markets or outlets that sell beef and and beef only, not the offal. You can even buy your own meat grinder and buy some chuck or sirloin when it is on sale and grind your own."

    That is what I do. And you can add chopped onions, peppers, hy-temp cheese, and whatever else that "YOU" decide would be good.

    Cory, nice job on correcting the factual error. The essence of your message was not impacted.

  10. Donald Pay 2012.03.29

    Better watch out, Cory. What's the status of the disparaging ag products law in SD? Back in the 1990s they passed this anti-free speech bill that anyone disparaging ag products could be sued for any damages caused. This was a horrible bill, probably developed from the bloated bowels of the ag committee at ALEC, but I think Oprah was sued under this bill in Texas.

  11. caheidelberger Post author | 2012.03.29

    Interesting, Donald! After how much processing does a substance cease to be an agricultural product and become recycled waste?

    Steve: thank you for bringing the error to my attention immediately. Pure inattention on my part.

    Local meat from the butcher: yes, please! But as far as I know, I have yet to sample rodent or shoot neighbors' dogs.

  12. Stan Gibilisco 2012.03.29

    So tofu is white slime. Cheese is yellow slime. Raw egg-white is clear slime. Jello is slime that comes in all colors. Snot is gray-green slime. They're all good for you. Bon appètit (eat and shut up).

  13. LK 2012.03.30

    So tofu is white slime. Cheese is yellow slime. Raw egg-white is clear slime. Jello is slime that comes in all colors. Snot is gray-green slime. They’re all good for you. Bon appètit (eat and shut up).

    Don't forget to wash them all down with an ammonia chaser

  14. caheidelberger Post author | 2012.03.30

    Tofu is gross. Governors should stay out of all slime markets.

  15. Douglas Wiken 2012.03.30

    This seems to be a case of which propaganda to believe. Calling this whatever "pink slime" was a stroke of propaganda genius.

    If people weren't irrationally afraid of using radiation to safeguard meat, the ammonia process would not be necessary. I haven't yet started looking for "ammonia" as an ingredient in other foods, but there is a claim it is quite often used for food preservation.

    My guess this will be studied for years in journalism and government classes let alone nutrition classes.

    It does remind me of an old joke however. Guy from the city was visiting his farm friend. The wife decided to cook beef tongue. When the guy heard that, he said he didn't want to eat anything that came out of a cow's mouth. When asked what he wanted, he said, "just give me a couple eggs."

  16. Joe 2012.03.31

    Yes, pink slime is beef, I don't think its necessarily bad, but its not as good as ground round. When buying hamburger there are two types, ground beef and ground round. Ground round is a steak, ground into hamburger, where ground beef is all the leftovers together made into hamburger. Its not necessarily bad, its just not as good. "pink slime" has aditives within the beef so its shelf life can be extended because of the longer wait time to get to the grill from the butcher plant. Again its not horrible, I don't think its going to kill you, but if you want the best beef, you go to the local butcher and buy some ground round.

  17. larry kurtz 2012.03.31

    "A new study shows that low doses of Bt biopesticide CryA1b as well as the glyphosate herbicide, Roundup, kill human kidney cells." Source.

  18. caheidelberger Post author | 2012.04.01

    Joe, I'm less bent out of shape over the gruesomeness of the product (I'm all for recycling) than about the Governor's obvious favoritism in the marketplace. Gov. Daugaard throws his weight behind big industry to protect their profits, but how often does he send Lt. Gov. Michels or Sec. Bones or himself out to public appearances at farmers markets or small independent dairies to help them get publicity and market share?

  19. larry kurtz 2012.07.25

    Hy-Vee is employee-owned. US Postal Service could be next: Slate.

Comments are closed.