With the GOP-manufactured debt crisis averted, we can all breathe easy, right? The market will correct itself, the world will still pick America as the safest financial bet, and we can coast through the dog days of August with our Congresspeople safely recessed at home where they can't do any damage.
But wait, defenders of the Republic! There's always another threat looming! Quick! To the barricades! The biggest threat to America's freedom is... sex outside of marriage.
Abstinence is the #1 issue that will defend freedom and is absolutely the very foundation of liberty.
Ah, like the sweet chirp of frogs on this still August morning, there's the sweet sound of Leslee Unruh in full fundraising mode. As usual, when the Unruhs want your money or your vote, they won't settle for telling that their cause is important. They hyperbolize in superlatives, insisting that their cause is more important than anything else.
In her latest blog post and letter to "Defenders of Virtue," Unruh claims that people having sex of which she disapproves have "caused almost all our economic woes."
The Godless worldview of this culture is this:
- to teach sexuality with no moral restraints;
- give unlimited condoms and contraceptives, paid for by taxpayers to every child in America;
- to insure unlimited abortions, also paid by taxpayers, at any time and for any reason throughout nine months;
- to promote homosexuality in all the schools of America;
- and allow access to pornography in public libraries (protected by freedom of speech) [Leslee Unruh, "Dear Defenders of Virtue," The Abstinence Clearinghouse Blog, 2011.08.03].
Please note that the second and third contentions are allegations of an agenda that has never been enacted in policy. Taxpayers have never funded unlimited contraceptives for every child in America. In my several years of teaching, I have never dispensed contraceptives of any sort to children. Heck, I never got any when I was in school. And taxpayers do not pay for abortions throughout pregnancy.
With such alarmist hyperbole, Leslee Unruh tends to lose track of logic in her arguments. In her letter, she never really draws the connection between sexually promsicuity and the economy. The closest Unruh comes is her assertion that abortion reduces the workforce by millions and that naughty sex makes welfare babies who drain our national budget.
Never mind that if Unruh's abstinence preaching stuck, there would be even fewer babies growing up to join the workforce.
Unruh's message diverges into a scattershot blast against not just nookie but general godlessness. She says that Ronald Reagan said the following:
If we ever forget we are one nation under God we shall be a nation gone under. Rome was rich and powerful but it became full of drunkenness and immorality and it crumbled.
I'm having trouble verifying that quote. The only place online I can find the second part of that quote attributed to Saint Ronnie is on Unruh's blog. Source notwithstanding, we should remind Unruh that Rome fell after it adopted Christianity.
But back to the point: Leslee needs your money! Freedom is at stake! Dads and daughters need more creepy purity balls! (I make this promise to my Divine Miss K: I will never take you to to a purity ball.)
Speaking of creepy, Unruh closes her appeal with this breathless anecdote:
Late one weekend night, I received a call from a young couple. The husband was whispering into the phone and he said, "Mrs. Unruh, we made it, it's our wedding night. I'm a virgin and so is my wife. I can't thank you enough for what you taught us about character" [Unruh, 201108.03].
Not quoted in Unruh's thrilling conclusion: the sound of sheets rustling as an unclad bride sits up in bed at the Super 8 and asks, "Honey, what are you doing on the phone? And why are you talking to another woman?" Sounds like someone stayed a virgin a little longer that night.