Scenic Sells! Who’s the Buyer?

Barbara Soderlin gets the scoop: Scenic sells! The tiny West River town on Highway 44 went up for sale, lock, stock, and saloon, this summer. Now Soderlin reports Rapid City realtors Dave Olsen and Joe Bennington have sold the 46-acre site to an out-of-state buyer "that you wouldn't expect."

So who's the buyer? Here are my best rumor-mongering guesses:

1. Madison's Lake Area Improvement Corporation: Realizing how nice it is not to have me in town documenting their failures and discovering their violations of state law, Dwaine Chapel and Mike McDowell will start deporting other Madison dissidents to the Scenic Re-Education Camp. Now that's Unexpected™!
2. Hyperion: They're going to drop their refinery planned for Union County and angle for a hookup to the West River Keystone XL pipeline. Less guff, less scrutiny, easier to establish an isolated company town!
3. Ted Turner: he's accumulating new ranchland to allow buffalo to roam from his Bad River Ranch in South Dakota to his McGinley Ranch in Nebraska. Get ready for the new Buffalo Commons!
4. Indian Motorcycle: Sturgis is too darn crowded during the rally, so America's first motorcycle maker will establish a custom bike shop and store for real hard-core riders on the edge of the Badlands.
5. Al-Qaeda: The Buy Scenic website has been hacked. It now bears what look like Arab crescents. Clearly, Muslim radicals have bought the town and plan to turn it into a terrorist training base to turn out more religious fanatics dedicated to tearing down the United States government. But wait, that sounds like Bob Ellis and Gordon Howie....

If you're driving Highway 44, keep your eyes peeled for trucks, private security forces, and other signs of occupation in Scenic. Neighbors, your suspicions and leads on who bought Scenic are welcome!