Ah, yes, South Dakota Congresswoman Kristi Noem delivered the keynote address at the North Dakota Republican Convention in Bismarck last Saturday. How many wrong keys and sour notes did she hit? Let's go to the video:
Well, right off the bat, she forfeits the vote of all redblooded Americans who can speak without teleprompters, right? As the speech wears on (and oh, how it wears), she turns to her notes on the lectern as well.
Amazingly, the script can't save Noem from her typical ill-formed syntax (egads, the run-on sentences!). It also doesn't save her from praising her hosts with a blatant diss of her home folks:
You know, you guys do things big in North Dakota, and I knew that, and I don't want to say antyhing bad about South Dakota, your neighbor to the south, which is where I represent in Congress, but we don't have a Republican convention like this [Rep. Kristi Noem, keynote address, 2012 NDGOP convention, Bismarck, North Dakota, 2012.03.31].
Kristi, really: it is possible to say nice things about the out-of-state people you're trying to impress without insulting the party leaders back home who make your re-election possible.
Later in the speech, Noem offers her typical distortion of reality, claiming that her North Dakota colleague Rep. Rick Berg has fought to reign in "all of those outlandish regulations" that the Obama Administration has been able to "dream up." Kristi, are you still not paying attention? The Obama Administration has issued fewer rules in its first three years than the Bush II Administration did.
On style, Noem's pacing on her jokes about the differences between North and South Dakota (Mount Rushmore, Wall Drug, hockey) is terrible. She sounds like she either doesn't feel comfortable telling the joke (in which case, don't! Humor is not required to make a good speech! Be yourself, not a Toastmasters' formula!) or is making a half-hearted attempt to build comic suspense by dragging it out.
It's hard to judge the pacing of the rest of the speech from this video, as it contains numerous edits, but the speech seems to have no flow, no momentum, no sense of direction. Noem runs her sentences together, as if she just has to get through the words rather than take time to make those words do anything. Her "get on your boots, saddle up again" rallying cry toward the end sounds as mild as nearly every other line she utters.
The folks in the hall didn't sound terribly impressed. Sure, Noem gets applause and cheers, but a lot of folks (at least those within mic-shot of the camera) sound like they are buzzing along with their normal conversations and hardly noticing the presence of their headliner at the podium.
North Decoder's Chad Nodland confirms Noem's failure to make an impression:
I've heard from Republicans that they were really disappointed with their keynote speaker, Kristi Noem. Her uninspired speach didn't help the fact she's a no-name in the Republican Party. You'd think North Dakota's Republican Party could have done a little better. And that's not just me talking; Republicans agree. You'd think they could have gotten a presidential candidate or other national Republican Party leader. But no. Serious let-down for everyone [Chad "Chet" Nodland, "Chet's 2012 Republican Party Convention Recap," North Decoder, 2012.04.02].
You'll still find various commentators listing Noem as an impressive female Republican leader. I get the distinct impression those sites are just trying to boost their Google juice by including Kristi Noem images. Her speech to the North Dakota GOP convention showed little sign of the attentive wordcraft and rousing leadership one would hope to hear from a rising star.
Bonus for Sibby: And did you catch Noem's reference to herself and Berg as the "Dakota Delegation"? Sounds like creeping globalism to me!
“Ya know, us kids did alotta complainin, but we learned a lot while we were haulin bales, and our Dad taught us how to really work, and I learned how to talk to the people that got me elected…Saddle up…We need jer help to get it done. †Doesn’t she make us proud?
"If ya hurt yourself, jes rub some dirt in it"—Noem doesn't realize a tenth of what she's saying about her politics.
One thing Republicans and Democrats can still agree on: bull feces still rolls downhill and into the state below you. You've been "feced" on by your own Congresswoman.
That kind of ticks me off as a Republican who likes the SD GOP convention.
Notice how she gets "Wall Drug" into her speech. Her sugar daddy is Teddy Husted. She just can't get enough of Wall Drug. Those stupid cowboy boots and hats she signs and gives away at Republican events are "Teddy specials."
It's kind of a flat speech for a keynote. Nothing charismatic about it.
Am I the only one who noticed that her clothes are starting to look more and more like Michele Bachmann's? Bright pink jackets. What is next?
Noem makes bad schools look good by comparison.
The GOP has no limits on silliness. Everyday I hear somebody asking how anybody could ever again vote for a Republican for anything anywhere.
Doug, when you hear those people asking that question, remind them to get out and vote for the big Ds on their ballots in November!
Clint Roberts was that bad?
Clint Roberts gave good simple and concise speeches just like you would expect from a self educated rancher. Was he one who used soaring rhetoric or had a orator delivery? No. But people walked away saying "he talks sense."
He and Lars Herseth had quite similar styles.
I can respect simple and concise. I struggle with simple-minded and canned. "Simple and concise" means getting to the point. Noem above appears to have trouble expressing her point. I don't expect soaring rhetoric from everybody. But every speaker ought to aim for a message that grabs attention and sticks in the memory. Does Noem offer that?
I kind of like "precise". That seems a terrible problem for political hacks desiring to fuzz every issue.
I've never heard Noem say anything but fuzz.
Meanwhile, GOP Senator Lisa Murkowski shows a little straightforward leadership in joining two other female Republican Senators in calling out the GOP on its war on women. When has Noem ever shown courage like that?
Yes Clint Roberts WAS that bad. Kristi Noem needs to go to a Rush game, since she says we in South Dakota don't know how to play hockey.
Several wives ago one got a birthday card that said, "for your birthday be like the Three Stooges: eat, drink, and beat Larry." So we did...let that be a lesson.
The Slime Plant is an eyesore.
The Slime Plant is preserved, grud: better than we can say for you.
I think grudz is a figment, Larry. Have you ever met him?
Figment Jam Preserves, I tell ya.
Have not met grudz, Bill: sometimes I think Woster, rd, or even Dithmer. Walter Dale Miller, even. Auction barns figure into the references as does Fort Pierre.
Both Newland and ip have played poker with Gov. Miller.
Am I mistaken in thinking that Walter Dale would be a hoot and a half if he were to shoot the breeze with us here in the blogosphere?
He's still sharp and plays at the Gold Dust or Lodge at Deadwood, Cory. It has been four years since I have played with him, tho.
Heitkamp wins, earth hater concedes!