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Howie Jokes About Knives? Ha, That’s Not a Blog. This Is a Blog.

Gordon Howie still doesn't understand how to include hyperlinks to tell his story. But I'll take his bait anyway.

Howie shouts the predictable satirical nonsense about how liberals ought to be screaming for background checks on knife purchases following the knife attack at Lone Star College in Cypress, Texas. A 20-year-old named Dylan Quick appears to have injured 14 people before a group of students chased, tackled, and subdued him.

Quick had no gun. He killed no one. Had Quick's childhood fantasies of mayhem driven him to pick up a gun instead of a knife, it's highly likely there'd be funerals in Cypress. It's also unlikely a whole group of students could have so successfully pursued him. You don't have to duck and weave when you're running after a nut with a knife.

Background checks on knives are silly. The daily utility of knives far outweighs the risk of social damage therefrom. People can purchase knives for many useful purposes other than to do harm. Background checks on gun purchases are a different matter. Guns exist to do harm to others, period. Guns represent a quantum leap in power over a knife. Guns thus warrant a higher level of legal scrutiny in a society that seeks to make sure no individual amasses too much power.

The proper policy response we should expect from South Dakota conservatives like Gordon Howie is an immediate petition drive to place an initiated measure on the 2014 ballot to allow—nay, require!—all South Dakota teachers, school administrators, custodians, and other volunteers to carry knives—big honkin' Bowie knives, on their hips—in our schools to protect our children from knife attacks. Declaring themselves knife-free zones makes our children sitting ducks for knife-wielding madmen.

And we all know the only way to stop a bad guy with a knife is a good guy with a knife.


  1. MIchael Black 2013.04.10

    Knives are considered a weapon and cannot be brought onto school property. This is SD law.

  2. Kal Lis 2013.04.10

    For the record, the guy used a "razor type knife" which means it was a box cutter or an X-acto knife that art rooms used to have. I haven't asked our art teachers if they still have those sort of implements in the room.

    As for the broader point of the post, THEY CAN HAVE MY LEATHERMAN WHEN THEY PRY IT OUT OF MY COLD (and with today's weather they are really cold) FINGERS.

  3. DB 2013.04.10

    Michael Black - Care to site the SD law?

  4. caheidelberger Post author | 2013.04.10

    I can help there, DB. See my Feb. 22 post on federal and state law on weapons in school. SDCL 13-32-7 prohibits firearms on school grounds. That statute also bans "any dangerous weapon," which SDCL 22-1-2 defines as "any firearm, stun gun, knife, or device, instrument, material, or substance, whether animate or inanimate, which is calculated or designed to inflict death or serious bodily harm, or by the manner in which it is used is likely to inflict death or serious bodily harm." By that wording, my car, if I point it at you and step on the gas, becomes a dangerous weapon... but that reclassification of mundane tools as deadly weapons is an after-the-fact prosecutorial tool, not a before-the-fact ban. South Dakota appears to have no statewide law defining what folding knives might be legal, but I've heard someone say blades under three inches are o.k.

  5. caheidelberger Post author | 2013.04.10

    Oops: in federal facilities (not our public schools), blades appear to be limited to 2.5 inches. Longest blade on my knife: 2 and 3/8!

  6. DB 2013.04.10

    That's what I thought. I knew I could carry my pocket knife in with no problems or even a leatherman tool. It's not like anyone will know anyways.

  7. larry kurtz 2013.04.10

    "Stoplights are useless. Only law-abiding drivers observe them! Why infringe on the freedom of those responsible drivers?" RT @davidaxelrod 1m

  8. Rorschach 2013.04.10

    Why the stoplight hate, Larry? Stoplights don't kill people. People kill people.

  9. Tim Higgins 2013.04.10

    Me thinks Corey is like Dr. Sheldon Cooper, has difficulty with the concept of sarcasm. By the way, all in all I think the Right Side is a good blog.

  10. DB 2013.04.10


  11. caheidelberger Post author | 2013.04.10

    No, Tim, I understood Gordon's sarcasm and his intent therewith completely. It was weak, predictable, and wrong. And his blog is not that good. Stock phrases, vague assertions backed with no evidence or links, constant fundraising pitches, silly self-aggrandizement (nationally syndicated author... CEO...), no real conversation in the comment section (and constant rejection of my efforts to start conversations there)... sure, other than all that, I suppose Gordon's blog is fine.

  12. caheidelberger Post author | 2013.04.10

    DB, I still prefer the Duke boys look, knife worn proudly in that leather pouch on the belt, so everybody knows you're ready to whittle or fix stuff. Plus, put that knife in your pocket, and how will Luke be able to get hold of it and cut you free from those chairs the kidnappers tied you to? Mmm, awkward....

  13. Tim Higgins 2013.04.10

    Well Corey as far as vague assertions backed with evidence or links, a good argument could be made for the same criticism directed at Madville. Not always but there have been times when you used previous Madville threads as evidence for your argument. Not too credible as far as I am concerned. When you do it is not necessarily in my opinion a credible site. Case in point, your like in this thread to Common Dreams, the head line 'No Gun' and 'None Dead' Following Knife Rampage in Texas.

    When I read the head line it comes across to me he used a knife not a gun no one dead what is the big deal. This from a site that is trying to build a progressive community.

    As far as constant fund raising goes, I see a tip jar each and every time I visit Madville.

  14. larry kurtz 2013.04.10

    Right, Tik. Cory: why can't earth haters spell your name correctly?

  15. Phil Schreck 2013.04.10

    Same thing happened on the day of the Newtown massacre. Some dude in China took a knife to twenty or so school children the very same day. Then came the stupid argument "if you want to ban guns then you need to ban knives too"! Well, none of those kids in China died. Was it a heinous act? Of course. But if he had a gun it would have been much, much worse. False equivalency.

  16. caheidelberger Post author | 2013.04.11

    Count the links, Tim. Howie almost never includes links or cited quotes or other sources. I almost always do. Just count how many different sources—not just blogs with an agenda, but folks who agree and disagree with me, as well as any available SD and national press—I cite in a given week compared to the links on Howie's site.

    Fundraising: Sure, I'll take tips. But I don't append that pitch to the bottom of every post. And I don't inflate my resume when I ask for those tips.

    Tim, you comparison of my blog to Gordon's baloney is as much a false equivalency (good phrase, Phil!) as the comparison of knives and guns.

  17. caheidelberger Post author | 2013.04.11

    And I publish your comments, Tim. More often than not, Howie blocks mine (though he finally let my comment through on his knife post—maybe he's reforming!).

  18. larry kurtz 2013.04.12

    "Kim Jong-un is a great example of what happens when you let someone get weapons without a background check." RT @HaroldItz

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