Illegitimate U.S. Senate candidate Annette Bosworth showed how much she cares for South Dakotans by making a point of taking my hand Saturday night and telling me, "I'm sorry for the things that happened to you as a child."
The only problem is, I couldn't figure out what dreadful childhood things she was talking about. Moving to Lake Herman down the shore from Gerry Lange? No, Lake Herman was nice, and Gerry was a decent neighbor. Not getting to keep that pet skunk? No, I think I'm over that. Mom and Dad not letting me drive to Sioux Falls until I was 18? No, they were right, since I still got a speeding ticket the first time I did that drive. What could Annette mean—
The receding hairline, the regal nose, the greying whiskers, the sharp sartorial sense, the passionate commitment to liberty... aaaahhh! The lights! The men from the sky! Samantha!!!
I'm all verklempt. Give me a few minutes to recover Dr. Bosworth's skillful hypnotic regression therapy....